Does God hold grudges?

Psalm 95 ends with a reminder to listen to God's voice, by referring to an incident which is first described in Exodus 17. God's people have left Egypt and are wandering in the desert. They are thirsty and they quarrel with Moses - in fact they are so angry that Moses thinks they're ready to stone him to death. God provides them with water, but the incident is remembered not so much for God's provision as for the Israelites' doubts. Even Moses and Aaron are criticised, not for complaining but for not giving the honour to God.

So when God says in Psalm 95 not to be like the Israelites at Meribah and Massah, He's talking about people who doubt His provision and don't give Him honour. Don't test God, says the psalm, but trust Him. But the psalm then ends with God saying He was angry for 40 years, and because He was angry He decided that none of the adults who were there at Meribah would enter the Promised Land. Does that mean that God held a grudge against a whole generation? What happened to a God who loves and forgives?

It might be helpful to note that in verse 10, where God says that He was angry, the word used can also be translated as "grieved" or "disgusted". What this means is not that God held on to His anger like someone nursing a grudge for 40 years, but that the attitude of the Israelites was so toxic that the consequences lasted for the rest of their lives.

Exactly the same thing happens in our lives today. I know that when I go to God and confess my sin, I am immediately forgiven. I also know that the consequences of my sin here and now may be ongoing. If I have injured someone, they are not healed because I am forgiven. If I have destroyed someone's property it will probably not be miraculously restored if I confess. The sin is forgiven but the consequences continue.

The passage in Exodus doesn't record whether the Israelites repented of their mistrust of God on this particular occasion. It's certainly not the only time they complain about the situation He's called them into. If they continued not to trust in God then it would have created even more of a divide between them and Him; a lack of trust erodes any relationship.

When I have to face the consequences of my own sin it's no good deciding that those consequences mean God is still angry at me. Sin affects my relationship with God and my relationships with other people, but it doesn't change God's forgiveness and love. I need to trust that I am forgiven and to keep trying to follow Him, even when I've made the journey more difficult for myself.